It’s a difficult scenario, you see. I keep shouting at myself “Deeper, deeper, deeper now! I want to taste every aspect of this depth!” only to cower in lost comfort when a bit of it enters my palms and my eyes. I freeze and wonder why I ever wished for something so strange.

seems juvenile.. all the wonderful things

we mustn’t lose them

for to grow without wonder is to shrink in comfortable delusion

that is where the old bows

and that which is done is done

April is always a strange and emotional month for myself and I am still trying to decipher the meaning behind this realization.

seems as though there is much to be cautious of, though perhaps there comes a point when caution morphs into fear-based skepticism.

Not to self: skepticism, in some regards, is necessary when faced with culture and self. fear leads to shaky breath and heart palpitations.

my ex is enlisting in the air force and there’s a part of me that really wants to talk to him and warn him about what is to come, but perhaps it’s best if he discovers truth on his own accord..

Note to self:

It’s okay that almost nobody wished you a happy birthday this year. Birthdays are cultural. Remember that. You have traveled around the sun once more, and perhaps even that, is illusory.. a product of your fickle folly mind. You don’t want them to remember you. Remember? The trees are enough. Shedding is progress.